Hebrews and Acts and Healing, oh my!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

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I haven't been too busy to write, just too exhausted from God's work!  My new found energy has been followed by pure exhaustion.  Flipping through pages of the living word and "oh let me tell you, it is alive!!" It's as though the words have been walking right off the page and right into my livingroom!  Better yet, they are leaping off the page and following me around! "BE STRONG!" Aaahh! "Okay, Lord, I will be strong right now."  "FORGIVE HIM AS I HAVE FORGIVEN YOU!"  Gulp  There He is again sneaking up on me throwing those words of truth right off the page into my mind and heart at all the right moments, just when I need to forgive another for careless ways.  When I begin to have fear or worry, he throws Philippians 4:6 like a nerf bullet my way; not hard enough to hurt but perhaps just a little sting to get my attention of what He commands.  And I say, "do not worry or be anxious in anything but in everything I pray to you oh, Lord! And in thanksgiving, oh Father...I have so much to be thankful for!"  And often in just this part I become so focused on what I am thankful for and praising Him for that I forgot what I was worrying or feeling anxious about to begin with.  He must chuckle to himself every time I do this to myself, letting my thoughts once again spiral out of control until I reach out to him, the One and only who did, can and always will save me.  This kind of stalking I welcome because it keeps my paths straight.  I don't always understand God and His timing and His will for me, but I have been learning fiercely to trust it and to keep trusting it and when that serpent of doubt tries to sliver His way in, to trust even more!  I can't lie, I get a little overwhelmed wondering when the next one is going to jump out at me or when God is going to do some flinging around of verses or give me what seem to be glimpses of visions, that many times I have no idea what they mean until a later time when it is fully or partially revealed. When the right time, the right person and the right event is in alignment with His will and all for His glory, I get these chills, as though time has stopped and something much more pressing must be handled.  I often think, "But wait, Lord, I have been working so hard at not being distracted by anything or anyone than what is in the moment, but during these times of revelation I know that this is a time when He wants me to make the exception, in fact He insists on it.

I am taking some time to rest in God's word.  I usually rush through things that I love because I can't wait to get to the next level of passion, but if there is one thing that I am learning and God is holding my hand tightly throughout, is to stop rushing!  Oh, my goodness! When He slows me down (because He knows I don't know how to do it on my own) I become so aware of how much rushing through my life I have done, yet I get so excited to be realizing so many new things I just can't help but want to hurry up and know more~lol.  I am really learning for the first time how to live in "the moment."  No matter what moment I am in, where it has me, who it does or doesn't have me with, whether I want to be where I am or not, I am truly discovering the concept of being in the moment.  But not just being where I am or where I want to be but where God wants me to be.  My calendar used to be full of parties, shopping trips, more parties...now it's more like hockey, dance, field trips, church, Bible Study, family time, camp, and lots of doctor's appointments...still a work in progress.  And so this involves a big change in the attitude of my heart, not to mention breaking some pretty persistent habits...not an easy task for this wiry gal, but one that I have been given and one I am trying obediently to follow...so is this what it's like to live out God's will? 

As I am sitting here and as I almost started to feel sorry for myself for it being a beautiful Fall day and I am laying on the couch thinking of all the things I would be doing, could be doing...I held up my royal glove because I knew He would be throwing me a fastball and sure glad I was ready because bam, there it was! Romans 8! I would love for you to read this on your own and let God speak to your heart what it might be needing to hear at such a time as this but I also want to share the curve ball He threw at me as I was about to sit down in a little bit of cozy self pity.  Romans 8:5 "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God." And this is when I was glad I had my royal glove up and ready! v.9 "YOU, however, ARE CONTROLLED not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you."  Phew!  I am a bit exhausted from playing "catch" with God in this moment.  But in those moments, He showed me that I may not be outside with my kids, but I can hear them out there, laughing and playing.  I might not be out there helping my husband with yard work, but I can rest assured that he is capable and content in his time to be able to do so.  I might not be doing much of anything that I want to be in this moment but I am doing what He wants me to be and that is resting while He heals my body.  So, with that round of playing catch with some pretty powerful words of truth and Him once again reminding me that I have been called for His glory! I feel rejuvenated enough to put on my Nikes and take a few steps out on faith and let God build this body back up, after all, it is His temple. God Bless and Love You All!


Laurie at Turner Farm said...

Kylee this is beautiful, have been back to read a couple of times. Love it. Also, LOVE the photos you've added. LOVE YOU