Matthew West Survivors

Matthew West - Opening Night - The Story of Your Life Tour - Survivors

I know hard, but praising God I know Him!

Because I couldn't have said it any better I had to copy and paste this email that was sent to me today while I was asking the Lord, "how much more, how much longer will this pain go on?".  This morning I have been  bombarded with one reminder after another that my pain and my suffering is not all about me!  And I stepped outside of my discomforts and shared this Encouragement of Today with several who are experiencing their own tests and trials right now.  If you are going through a season that seems to be more full of hurt and betrayal, sickness and loss, than joy, comfort and peace, open your Bible and read the book of Job.  God has reminded me of this man and brought me back to his story many times during my battles of physical pain and emotional healing.  For now, I think you will find some encouragement in the entry below.  I pray the arms of our mighty God will wrap around you in the midst of your raging storm right now.  Turn to Him and let Him lay you down in green pastures and take you to quiet waters where He can and will restore your soul.  I pray the Holy Spirit come upon you now and that you would not only be moved to great awakening as you read the words below, but that you would feel His presence and be lifted up from the depths of your sorrows and heartache to a place where hope resides.  To a place where your strength is renewed and your mind is made fresh and clear of the good things that are to come.  To a place where you  aren't wondering but are certain that you are not simply getting by but you are KEEPIN ON!

So This is What "Hard" Feels Like

Glynnis Whitwer

"I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth."

Job 19:25 (NIV)

         

Devotion:

Do you know what "hard" feels like? I'm not talking about the feel of stone by a river, or concrete under your feet. I'm talking emotionally hard ... spiritually hard. The kind of hard that makes you want to give up, go back to bed or slip into some sort of temporary abandonment of reality.

Do you know the kind of hard that makes you question everything you know, or thought you knew, about God?

The book of Job in the Old Testament tells the story of someone who knew hard. It's surely one of the most difficult to read because God removed His hand of protection and allowed all the pain that Job experienced. In fact, God even pointed Job out to Satan as blameless, which Satan twisted into a challenge to bring Job down.

Confident in Job, God allowed the testing. So one by one, Satan destroyed that which was dear to Job: his family, health and possessions. Then, just when you think it couldn't get any worse, Job's wife and friends step in to "help" with the most unhelpful advice. Job is beset on all sides, and at times he is ready to give up, even asking God to "crush" him and relieve him of misery.

Job was a good and honest man. A man of high integrity, He didn't deserve the hard times he experienced. Yet, in spite of unrelenting agony, Job battled to hold on to truth - truth about his feelings and truth about God. In spite of confusion and questions, Job refused to curse God. Though Job didn't understand why he was suffering, he chose to walk in honesty and integrity, believing God would bring something good out if it.

Job faced "hard" head on. He wobbled a bit, but then planted his feet and steadfastly held on to faith that his God who had never abandoned him before, would not do so now. No matter what he lost, and who abandoned him, Job knew God would always be with him. His emotions may have pulled a bit on this, but Job kept steering back to center. Job faced "hard" well.

To declare his faith, Job spoke words that echo through generations, off the lips of saints of old and suffering saints today: "I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth."

Job's story has a happy ending. After passing the testing, the Bible says, "The Lord blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first" (Job 42:12a, NIV). Although Job had to go through the hard times, and there were no easy answers, the Lord never abandoned him, and had a reward on the other side.

The good news is Job's story can be ours. Not that we would wish such catastrophe on ourselves, but we all face our own "hard." And Job's Redeemer is our Redeemer. If you are facing something hard today, Job's story can bring you comfort and hope, for our Redeemer lives!

Dear Lord, I praise You for being the same regardless of what I am going through. There is nothing that is outside Your control. Help me to suffer well, and to guard my lips against any falsehood. Turn my face toward You when I can't lift it myself. I choose to trust You today. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

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1.03.01

Dear Grammie

October 14th, 2010

Dear Grammie,
Although we will both remember the days that we were told "it's cancer" very vividly and it's not a welcoming memory, we rejoice and celebrate today because we are two out of the 11 million cancer survivors who celebrate another birthday this year! And because of that there are so many other vivid memories that I do welcome and want to share today as we celebrate you and what this day not only means to your daughters, granddaughters and great-granddaughters.

I'm not sure if you and Grampie know how much I remember of my childhood or if I have even ever told you how special my memories of growing up with you are. But after today I think you will have a pretty good idea as I try to put into words what my heart, soul and memory recall.

During some typical growing up and fighting for my independence at every age and every level of maturity, I remember complaining about living in the country. Pittsfield felt like a city compared to home and because of my defiant nature as an adolescent and oh yes, something I still struggle with as an adult, I would find myself wanting the exact opposite of what I had or wanting to be in the opposite place that I was and that was anywhere but at home with my parents or in the country where my friends seemed so far away. I sure do wish there were a way to appreciate things as children that we learn to appreciate as adults because it saddens me to think that I even thought I would have been happier anywhere but where I was. I was right where God had placed me, at the bottom of the hill, with only a wide open field that laid between my bedroom window and my grandparents door. Psalm 23 begins to describe how my thoughts have matured yet the view from my childhood bedroom window remains the same when I reflect back..."The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul." He certainly shows me how amazing He is when I recall the green pastures of my childhood and the quiet waters that always restored my soul as a child and how he uses those memories to restore my soul even now.

I remember sitting on my bed looking out the window just taking in the scenery. If I could draw beyond a stick figure my memory alone would be able to paint a mural of immense detail of your house, the field, the golf course, the ponds, the lake, the woodpiles, the willow tree, the golfers and the neighbors. And if that picture could be heard, people would hear the sounds of Grampie's tractor starting in unison with the first bird's chirping of the day, the chainsaw cutting the wood that kept you warm and those of us who visited, scorching hot all winter long. You would hear the big mower going around and around the field creating the sweetest smell of fresh grass and earth, and our neighbor Jay with the same thought in mind as he created his own beautiful landscape across the way. There would be sounds of occasional cars whizzing by, random golf balls bouncing off the pavement or once in a great while shattering a window, the clanging of pins being put back followed by voices of men who just got a birdie or of the women cackling over their own scorecards. At night it would be the sounds of crickets and frogs croaking so loudly that it became a bedtime lullaby you couldn't fall asleep without.

Although I am 31 years old now and moved away from the country life, I still look out my bedroom window. Except I am not seeing my suburban back yard. I see what I saw for 18 years because it is the view that fills me with peace and God "lays me down in green pastures and leads me beside quiet waters and restores my soul."

There are some other memories that don't necessarily create a picture but a feeling. The feeling of comfort and security in the midst of adolescent changing. While life as a child can internally feel like it is moving so fast and chaotically changing, externally I was comforted by the same sounds, the same people and the same view everyday for 18 years. Every morning I would wake to the same sounds of Grampie's hard work and dedication. And although as a teenager it could be quite annoying to wake every morning, in the summer no less, at 6am to the sounds of tractors, chainsaws and lawnmowers, yet once I was beyond the first 10 minutes of feeling annoyed, that feeling was replaced with respect for a man who worked so hard and actually got up with the birds on his own to do work, rather than sleep in and waste the day~now I know where I get it from because I have never been able to sleep in past 7am and I would rather get up and start the day than spend it in bed wishing later I had gotten up sooner to do the things I am called to do.  And there was the feeling of comfort knowing that it was always the same person and the same sounds that I would wake to each day.  I also remember noon time being another part of the day when the same person at the same time would walk down the driveway to get the mail.  You each had your daily routines and it is simply inspiring to look back on now as an adult who actually craves these and appreciates these tedious chores that I watched you and Grampie do each and every day because it reminds me of the childhood I was fortunate to have and the life I am blessed to still be living. 

Although I started many days off thinking I couldn't wait to move out of the country and see other places and meet other people, I can't really express how much I actually saw, the numerous people I actually met, and the amazing feelings I experienced as a child in a small town that most have never even heard of.  I remember the moments of simple and pure excitement of just kicking of my shoes and running through the field as soon as Grampie had parked the tractor just so I could feel the fresh mowed grass between my toes.  And I recall how it felt to walk out my door and through the field as though I was in one world then as soon as I crossed the dirt driveway to the other side of the house I was in another world.

I remember the feeling of knowing what to expect when I opened the door to your kitchen many mornings. There you would be just as I knew you would, in your robe and slippers, cash box and keys in hand and the smell of coffee already brewed.  And Grampie often standing there just to say hello and smile because someone else was finally awake to speak to or smile at...and he always greeted me with a smile never knowing that I had been annoyed with him an hour ago for waking me once again with his noisy machines;-) But once I walked through your door none of those annoying feelings mattered or lingered.  They were immediately replaced with warmth and love and anticipation of what the end of the day would bring.  And even though it usually brought the same people to play the same game, and the same order of a drink, steamed hot dog and chips or crackers, it gave me a feeling of thankfulness because while other kids my age were working for strangers or just letting their parents pay their way I was working for and helping my family while learning a lot about people and life in the process.  I remember rushing to unlock the clubhouse doors,  to make a pot of coffee and get the register running and the door unlocked before the first regular golfer came to start their day just as they had the day before.  I couldn't quite appreciate why people wanted to do the same thing from sun up to sundown, day after day, but when I look back, especially after the last two years, and think how wonderful it is to just be able to do the anything in a day, I begin to understand the simple joy and contentment of doing the same thing everyday.  It's an amazing reminder of where I have been, where I am now and where I look forward to being.

So those are just some of my memories of what I felt and what I saw.  But a few of my most cherished memories are a couple of things that I did with you.  When I think about some of our times together I remember lots of shopping.  And although it was usually in Nannie's Lincoln I vividly recall many trips to Unity in the yellow and blue Buick. I don't think you ever knew it but I had that car on two wheels one day when I had gotten my permit. I was driving with mom one day as I took the corner at Hawthorne Park a little too fast.  If you asked her, she would tell you that is one memory you will be thankful to not have been a part of;-) But back to the shopping.  I don't recall much of anything that was ever bought, however I do recall that you always got dressed up in these really nice suits or coordinating outfits when we would go shopping.  I would  put on my shopping clothes, walk through the field and wait for Nannie to arrive in the Lincoln. I always thought it funny that she would get into the passenger seat and you would drive and then later on when Aunt Tammy or Aunt Susie would go, you would move to the passenger seat and one of them would drive.  I never questioned why, I guess I just thought it was the law or something, that the youngest one with the license had to drive.  Anyhow, I remember always falling asleep between the end of your driveway and the parking lot of Zayre's, Ames or Riches.  And not because I was bored of yet another shopping trip with my grandmother and great grandmother, but because there was something about Nannie's Lincoln that just put me right to sleep and I am sure the comfort of being with two special women in my life had something to do with it, too:-)  Like I said, I don't recall what we ever bought, but that I am sure I always came home with something and since you liked to get dressed up so nice to go shopping  I might assume you probably came home with new outfits for the next shopping trip as though it was going to be a long time before we took another one.  Ya, two days without shopping was a long time. LOL.  (That is laugh out loud or lots of laughs depending on who you ask in case you were wondering).  And shopping was not all that I looked forward to because the day was not over until we sat down at the House of Pancakes and had a lobster roll with pickles, chips and a coke, well, yours might have been a Tab;-)  And on the trips when Nannie didn't go we went to Belanger's for the most delicious Seafood Salad Sandwich, french fries and Coke...oh the memories that lead from one to another.  Because as I am recalling the shopping trips that consisted of you looking stunning in your outfits and accessories it reminds me of your weekly trips to Ruth's. Not for a hair cut but the same hair-do.  I used to think it was funny that you would go once a week to have someone else do your hair and that it stayed that way for 7 days~didn't you sleep on it like the rest of us did??! And that is when I discovered your Aqua-Net! LOL! That stuff is the superglue of yesterday!  I can't believe your kitchen wasn't just one big cluster being held together with Aqua-Net!  

I feel like I could go on and on with a hundred more memories from Easter Egg Hunts, to  traveling a short distance in our pj's while it was still dark on Christmas morning to see 12 stockings hung by the fire always with an apple and an orange waiting at the bottom to be picked out and adored as much as the other things that were packed on top of them.  Funny how I don't remember any of the other things that were in the stockings except the apples and oranges;-)

I know that I have not been back often enough to visit but I want you to know that I sit and visit with you and Grampie in my memories more often than I even realized until I started writing this.  I am so thankful for the most recent events and traditional ones at best that have brought us together the last two summers.  It has been wonderful to see myself as a child in my own children during our most recent visits during Christmas mornings and two of the most beautiful weddings I have been to.  To see my son driving a golf cart, swinging a golfclub, skipping rocks in the lake and asking for something to drink or eat at the clubhouse reminds me of how good I had it and teaches me that although I may not be raising my kids in the country setting I grew up in, I can certainly raise them with the same values, the same comforts and the same security that kept me safe and reassured me of love each and every day.  I can show them that although it's okay to want to see other places, meet new people, experience other ways of life, that it doesn't matter so much where you go or who you meet or what you do in life. It's your roots where God planted you to begin with, that get you there. 

Well, I knew how to start this letter and I sure didn't have trouble finding things to fill it up but I am finding it hard to come to a conclusion so rather than end with another memory or some great quote or word of God I am going to end by making another memory with you.  We are going to pick a day and we are going to go shopping. Since Zayres, Ames and Riches are no longer around we are going to hit the other places we used to go to...Mardens, Pennies and Kmart.  Then since the House of Pancakes has been replaced with a Rite Aide, and I think Belanger's is still open, we are going to have a "like we never had cancer kind of meal" and order us a Seafood Salad Sandwich, french fries and a Coke!  (Except this time mine will be followed with a coffee enema instead of an ice cream for dessert). And since I am the youngest one with the license now, I will sit in the driver's seat!  As long as I have it in DRIVE and not REVERSE we should have ourselves one good trip down memory lane.  LOL!

So, here's to you, another year survived, another birthday celebrated and to KEEPIN ON with the memories! And no matter what changes or remains the same, we will live according to Psalm 118:24 and be thankful for each and every day.  "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."

Love Always,
Kylee-Bug

Humbled, Content and Belonging! Keeping On!

Oh, you won't believe that I spent 2 hours writing and editing a post titled "Humbled, Content and Belonging!" to find out that when I hit the PUBLISH button, I was no longer connected to the interen! My mind so quickly wanted to blame it on someone else or the connection itself, but that is a war I'm finding myself on the winning side more and more everyday...so, I looked down and was humbled in the midst, although not content and questioning my belonging in this moment, that I had accidently hit the wireless button to 'off' and when I came back online my edited version had not been saved! UGH! Is it the end of the world? Nope, but once I finally redo it and get it posted you might be able to imagine the me that would have cried for days over it and know the me that is owning up to my mistake, finding contentment in just being and loving that I am where I belong...on the couch resting! LOL~Stay tuned for the post that was supposed to be under this title, but will have to wait...I'm sure there is a reason, although I do not know what or why, I will still rest in His holiness tonight~KEEPIN ON!

Had to Share! Enjoy!

Praying for the Impossible

Lysa TerKeurst

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

         

Devotion:

Five years ago I sat beside my youngest sister and listened as she boldly rejected my views of God.  She's always been a free spirit, much too non-conventional for traditional religion. 

"Good thing I'm not into religion," I gently replied.

She twisted her face as if half expecting a lightening bolt to strike us both.  "But you ARE religious."

I laid my head against the back of the lounge chair, closed my eyes to the sun now washing over me and simply replied, "Nope."

Deciding to let my statement just sit for a while, I decided not to clarify unless she asked.  And ask she did.

That's when I explained that I follow God not a list of rules.  I am passionate about getting into the Bible - God's teachings - and letting the Bible get into me.  I no longer evaluate life based on my feelings.  Instead, I let my feelings and experiences be evaluated in light of God's Word. 

I have watched God chase me around with rich evidence of His presence and invitations to trade apathy for active faith.  But I had to make the choice to see God.  Hear God.  Know God. And follow hard after God.

Then I took my sister's hand and told her I'd be praying for God to mess with her in ways too bold for her to deny.

Fast forward over five years later.  My sister walks into one of her professor's office and sees one of my books on her bookshelf.  I don't think she really believed anyone actually read my books.  But there it was.  And it messed with her. 

She later went home and poked around my blog a bit where she found a clip of my testimony.  Again, it messed with her.  One verse in particular messed with her so much that she let the possibility that God exists slip into her heart. 

A few days later she went and had Jeremiah 29:11 tattooed on the back of her neck.  And she started calling wanting to talk to me.  About life.  About tattoos.  And about God.

Last Thursday, I stood in the middle of the Atlanta airport praying for this precious girl who had called asking for those prayers.  She had called.  She had asked.  And that's the miracle of our Jesus.  He is the God of the impossible. 

I wonder what might happen if we dared to ask God for the impossible just a little more often.  I'm up for it?  Are you?

Dear Lord, use me today to reach the heart of one. I want to trade any apathy I may have today for active faith. Lead me, and I will follow. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Hebrews and Acts and Healing, oh my!

I haven't been too busy to write, just too exhausted from God's work!  My new found energy has been followed by pure exhaustion.  Flipping through pages of the living word and "oh let me tell you, it is alive!!" It's as though the words have been walking right off the page and right into my livingroom!  Better yet, they are leaping off the page and following me around! "BE STRONG!" Aaahh! "Okay, Lord, I will be strong right now."  "FORGIVE HIM AS I HAVE FORGIVEN YOU!"  Gulp  There He is again sneaking up on me throwing those words of truth right off the page into my mind and heart at all the right moments, just when I need to forgive another for careless ways.  When I begin to have fear or worry, he throws Philippians 4:6 like a nerf bullet my way; not hard enough to hurt but perhaps just a little sting to get my attention of what He commands.  And I say, "do not worry or be anxious in anything but in everything I pray to you oh, Lord! And in thanksgiving, oh Father...I have so much to be thankful for!"  And often in just this part I become so focused on what I am thankful for and praising Him for that I forgot what I was worrying or feeling anxious about to begin with.  He must chuckle to himself every time I do this to myself, letting my thoughts once again spiral out of control until I reach out to him, the One and only who did, can and always will save me.  This kind of stalking I welcome because it keeps my paths straight.  I don't always understand God and His timing and His will for me, but I have been learning fiercely to trust it and to keep trusting it and when that serpent of doubt tries to sliver His way in, to trust even more!  I can't lie, I get a little overwhelmed wondering when the next one is going to jump out at me or when God is going to do some flinging around of verses or give me what seem to be glimpses of visions, that many times I have no idea what they mean until a later time when it is fully or partially revealed. When the right time, the right person and the right event is in alignment with His will and all for His glory, I get these chills, as though time has stopped and something much more pressing must be handled.  I often think, "But wait, Lord, I have been working so hard at not being distracted by anything or anyone than what is in the moment, but during these times of revelation I know that this is a time when He wants me to make the exception, in fact He insists on it.


I am taking some time to rest in God's word.  I usually rush through things that I love because I can't wait to get to the next level of passion, but if there is one thing that I am learning and God is holding my hand tightly throughout, is to stop rushing!  Oh, my goodness! When He slows me down (because He knows I don't know how to do it on my own) I become so aware of how much rushing through my life I have done, yet I get so excited to be realizing so many new things I just can't help but want to hurry up and know more~lol.  I am really learning for the first time how to live in "the moment."  No matter what moment I am in, where it has me, who it does or doesn't have me with, whether I want to be where I am or not, I am truly discovering the concept of being in the moment.  But not just being where I am or where I want to be but where God wants me to be.  My calendar used to be full of parties, shopping trips, more parties...now it's more like hockey, dance, field trips, church, Bible Study, family time, camp, and lots of doctor's appointments...still a work in progress.  And so this involves a big change in the attitude of my heart, not to mention breaking some pretty persistent habits...not an easy task for this wiry gal, but one that I have been given and one I am trying obediently to follow...so is this what it's like to live out God's will? 

As I am sitting here and as I almost started to feel sorry for myself for it being a beautiful Fall day and I am laying on the couch thinking of all the things I would be doing, could be doing...I held up my royal glove because I knew He would be throwing me a fastball and sure glad I was ready because bam, there it was! Romans 8! I would love for you to read this on your own and let God speak to your heart what it might be needing to hear at such a time as this but I also want to share the curve ball He threw at me as I was about to sit down in a little bit of cozy self pity.  Romans 8:5 "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God." And this is when I was glad I had my royal glove up and ready! v.9 "YOU, however, ARE CONTROLLED not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you."  Phew!  I am a bit exhausted from playing "catch" with God in this moment.  But in those moments, He showed me that I may not be outside with my kids, but I can hear them out there, laughing and playing.  I might not be out there helping my husband with yard work, but I can rest assured that he is capable and content in his time to be able to do so.  I might not be doing much of anything that I want to be in this moment but I am doing what He wants me to be and that is resting while He heals my body.  So, with that round of playing catch with some pretty powerful words of truth and Him once again reminding me that I have been called for His glory! I feel rejuvenated enough to put on my Nikes and take a few steps out on faith and let God build this body back up, after all, it is His temple. God Bless and Love You All!